she takes a stick and
draws a circle in the
sand around her feet
pretending it was a rabbit hole
to which she would fall
she spreads her toes into the sand
as she imagines her descent
into the land of wonder
where she is the protagonist
and colourful characters keep her company
and inanimate objects have more life
in them than any of her friends
and where she can take mushrooms
that would literally make her
higher than the CN Tower
she digs further with her toes
until a cold dampness greets her soles
and sends a shiver through her soul
as she imagines triumphing over tyrants
and outsmarting the crooks
and finally feeling as though she
was worth something
as though the story would be for naught
without her
as though she was the reason
that the land of wonder exists at all
how she wishes that were true
if only the rabbit hole is as real as the ones in her heart
and if only closing her eyes
and digging her toes into the sand
could conjure the ocean to wash away all of her disappointments
would she be happy then?
she’s afraid to know
so she keeps her eyes closed
and keeps digging into the cold dampness beneath her feet
until her nails are broken
and her delicate toes are blistered